Do Your Expectations of Others Match Reality?

How Your Expectations of Others Might Be Hindering Your Relationships

The Attraction Key

29 Apr 2025 • 3 min read

A lot has been written about expectations. On one hand, it is beneficial to have them. They are motivators for the present and projections for the future. They spur us on to greater things. We step into our expectations and think they will manifest how we visualize them.

On the other hand, our expectations may not meet reality. As an example, you meet someone new at the office or a social gathering, and you like this person. Perhaps you decide you want to befriend them, or even date them! Over time, you get the sense that the feeling is mutual. You realize that something has been missing on your career path: friends. You understand that to be successful in life, you must meld friendships with wealth-building.

But on the first outing, you are disappointed to find a person who is critical and opinionated. They’re negative about everything. Before the evening is over, you are eager to get away!

First Blushes Don’t Always Bloom

Because your expectations are dashed, you blame yourself. Why didn’t your expectations meet reality? Why are you filled with such disappointment?

One of the biggest mistakes in relationships is hanging on. We are trained from birth to expect people to feel as we do, but as we mature, we realize this is not always the case.

For relationships to bloom, they need to be nurtured. If you are lucky, a flower of friendship will develop in time. But if the flower fades quickly, then let it go.

When you know in your gut that it is over, let that person go to make room for a new bud of friendship elsewhere.

The Issue

The issue is that our ideas are based on the erroneous idea that other people will fulfill our expectations. This is the simple explanation.

The good news is that the reverse of this is also the simple solution.

The Solution

The solution is to stop depending on other people or situations to fulfill your expectations because if you do depend on others, your expectations will rarely match your reality.

Relationships are fraught with misunderstandings and, worst of all, expectations. We give friendship and expect it back. We put a lot of effort in our career, and then expect a raise, or at least acknowledgment, from our boss and peers.

The reality is that when we have expectations of other people, we are often disappointed. The reason for this is that other people also have their expectations of not only you, but of the situation, their families and friends, and the world.

So how do everyone’s expectations reconcile?

Humans move in a subtle dance of negotiation in life and often are not even aware this is so. It takes wisdom and intuition to recognize that you are in a dance of life, and there are certain steps to take during the dance.

The most important thing you can remember is that you are not alone in this dance. You are not all-powerful.

How to Attract New Friends

The most important asset you have is the ability to be the friend you are looking for. Be considerate of others, be caring and giving, listen more and talk less, and initiate social invitations to others.
Do not think others will meet your expectations; instead, try to be someone who can meet theirs.
Imagine and realize that you are the only one that can fulfill your expectations. It is up to you to do the work

Awareness Is a Key Factor

Make a fresh start today by becoming aware of your mindset and your expectations.

Try these simple steps:

With any new relationship or situation, look at your expectations. Are they realistic for everyone involved?
Remember that disappointment and anger can only manifest if you are not aware of reality.
Be aware of others’ thoughts and feelings. If they do not match yours, you can choose to either be disappointed and angry or be neutral.

The Power of Neutrality

When assessing expectations, neutrality is a powerful tool. From this state of awareness, you can then determine your next step.

Holding a temporary state of neutrality allows you to consider a situation and to get to know another person and their expectations and goals.

Remember that you are not alone on this planet; it is important to be careful and considerate of other people's thoughts and feelings. By maintaining neutrality, you are not being driven by ego, emotions, or expectations.

When you have gathered all the information you need, then you can set out to manifest your goals with wisdom and knowledge, not expectations.

In Summary:

Stay neutral
Be aware of our expectations
Be considerate
Be the friend you are looking for